Those dang happy people

"She's just so happy and perky and nice all the time." - Susie
"Yes, clearly she's a fraud." -Betsy
"Let's become best friends with her!" - Meagan
"Frenemies... I'm all for that!" -Betsy

"Sarah was the only one I knew who forgot about her toast. Every day."

Susie: Katykins do you have any construction paper? Also, who made toast?

Katie: It's been there since yesterday.

Susie: And nobody's done anything about this?

Katie: I was wondering who would be the first person to notice. 

Game Time!

"Bed intruder is our apartment's favorite game! Now go get in your bed..." -Meagan

No, I'm not an addict....

"How do you spell caffeinated?" -Susie
"C-A-F-F-E-I-N-A-T-E-D." -Meagan
"I isolated caffeine in my O-Chem lab today!" -Bailey
"Well why didn't you bring any home?!" -Susie

Hot Chocolate

"Try this- it's amazing. Stephens makes the best dark hot chocolate." - Katie
"No, I don't really like dark chocolate." -Susie
"Try it!! It doesn't even taste like dark chocolate." - Katie
"No! I don't like it!" - Susie
"TRY IT!.... It's milk chocolate." - Katie
.....
"Well, that's a lie." - Susie

We are grafted in but not whiney

Katie: I would never whine like an Israelite.
Betsy: But I thought you loved complaining Katie.
Katie: I do!!
Betsy: [nods]

Just a normal Sunday morning.

"I was trying to motion to you guys to come watch the show from the other side." - Meagan
"Really? I thought you were telling me to take my pants off." - Betsy
"What? That wasn't what you wanted?" - Katie, as she motions taking off her pants

Welcome to our apartment

"If you can't be immature here, where can you be?" -Katie

She is pretty irresistible

"On a scale of one to ten, how attracted to me are you?" -Katie
"84." -Susie

Bite-Size Sam

"No, Sam. You're bite-size!" -Susie
"I do enjoy a nibble now and then." -Sam

Rude, Katie

"Some people are self-conscious about their poo. It's because of insensitive people like me." - Katie

What were you thinking, Kevin Costner?

"Jeff, you have Waterworld? Why?!" -Susie
"Because it's great!" -Jeff
"Jeff, he drinks his own pee!" -Susie
"Uh, no. He drinks treated pee." -Jeff

Well that's awkward

While Sarah is massaging Katie:

"Lying on my back makes me want to fart a little... What?! I didn't!!" -Katie

Goodbye, Soul

"This ward has taken away a part of my soul." - Susie
"What part?" - Katie
"The part that makes me happy..." - Susie

Don't knock food storage

"Katie, eat this ice cream. It's way better than your nasty-o' pudding." ~ Sarah
"Really? Why don't you tell that to the Lord? Because it's his pudding!" ~ Katie

Now that's devotion!

"Katie, I would follow you to hell just to annoy you."
                                                           ~Sarah

I'd Rather be VL

"Ew. Don't kiss him. Kiss me before you kiss him." - Katie
"...Was that an offer?" -Susie

False Assumptions...

"Yeah- you're a lot better than I thought you would be." - Susie
"What? Did you expect me to be pregnant?!" - Katie

So tell me...how was he?

"On a scale of 1 to 10, he's like a 13 in homosexuality"- Meredith

Girls Gone Wild 123 style

In the midst of Susie and Sarah having a wrestling match, Katie saw something that didn't really happen:

"Whoa Sarah, I thought your shirt flew open and you weren't wearing an undershirt and I was like 'BOOBS!'"

Can I Get an Amen?!

"We're like the Patron Saints of all awkward people."

Totally taken out of context... I swear!

"I have frequented both your beds." -Susie

Them crazy people

"It's really sad how many crazy people there are..." -Katie

I'd kill for that

"Really? Because Chanda's great. I would kill for Chanda's body. Ok, not really. I would kill a lot of...wildlife!"-Betsy

proper identification

Reed: You know you looked at his butt.
Susie: Oh yeah, it's definitely how I identify you guys.
Reed: It's true, isn't it!

Reed shares his dreams

"A friend invited me to go skydiving on Friday, and I'm going to text him and say, 'Sometimes I dream about having children.'" - Reed

how to answer a question in the humanities

"'What does this picture mean?' 'When I look at this picture I feel red and pink in my soul that turn lights on in my feet' One hundred percent, Reed!" - Reed

more being polite

"I did give you some alone time for kissing. I hope you took advantage of it."
"Maybe."

wuv, twoo wuv

"Man, he loves me."
"Well, why wouldn't he?"
"I know, I'm great!"

Greetings

"Smell me! I smell like clean!"-Ryan

Cheer note etiquette

"Listen to this cheer note that was sent to me: (insert note)"
"Yeah, that is dumb. He's supposed to say, 'I love you and want you to have my children.'"

another anonymous post

"So have you guys kissed yet?"
"yeah, he kissed me last night. It was nice."
"I hope it was more than nice and you're just being polite!"

The authors plead the 5th...

"So do they make out?"
"Well, I'm sure they've kissed for long periods of time."
"Oh. ok."
"But they don't make out like you and I make out....with other people."

Deep, Brennan. Real Deep.

"There are lots of guys who I feel are really righteous, and really cool, until they get into the dating world. Then they're as shallow...as a pond. On a hot day. With lots of evaporation." -Brennan

Well that's unfortunate

"She's really cute." -Katie
"Yeah, I feel bad for her." - Susie
"Yeah, cute girls shouldn't have gay husbands. Bummer..." -Katie

Mmm...butter

"I have to make dessert for tonight. What sounds good?" - Susie
"Coffee cake." - Brennan
"Sigh... why do I ask you for advice?" -Susie
"Don't you like coffee cake? It's so good! And buttery! Which equals good!"- Brennan

and the curtain falls

"I saw some spittle on that one"- Nate
"Well apparently French Revolutionary garb was not meant for the spotlight."-Betsy as she exits left
"He's rather sweaty." Katie, in an English accent. (which does not, in fact, coincide with the French revolution)

please don't let this be my fate

While watching Les Mis, Susie and Katie were laughing at the chest hair of the old men. The following ensued...

"Katie, you're going to marry a man with chest hair."-Nate
"And with back hair!"-Susie
"Hairy back, hairy crack. It's just a natural fact...of science..." -Nate

Nate hates babies

"That sounds about as ugly as babies." -Nate

Fetching

Susie:(speaking of Ryan's haircut) You look fetching both ways.
Me: I've never heard 'fetching' applied to a man...to his face.
Jared: I always thought it was a curse word.

The reason for the chastity line...

Ryan, you have touched me more places than most people.
                                      ~Susie
....hmmmm.....sketch

Surprise! Bed Intruder!!!!!

Betsy: Well ladies, I'm going to bed. At least, I'm going to get into my bed and hope something happens.

Susie and Katie then exchange nervous, but happy glances.

It was that good...

After watching the PBS Les Miserables concert special:
Katie: Wow. God made some pretty talented kids.
Betsy: Yeah. Those talented composers making me do uncomposed things. Like pee my pants!

bahahhahaahahah really...it was that good.

true colors

Shelby: Have I told you that your blog has changed my life?
Sarah: No! I hate it! It makes me sound like a ho!
Susie: Maybe you should stop saying such ho-ish things then, Sarah.
Sarah: Susie, if we took a vote, you would definitely be voted the most ho-ish.
Susie: Well, yeah- we all know that if I weren't LDS I would be quite promiscuous.

heartless

Me: The guy who wrote "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" died today.
Katie: That's weird.
Me: Yeah
Katie: I would have assumed he was already dead.

a debate that Louisa won through dubitable means

Me: Louisa, I don't think you have a butt.
Louisa: I do!
Me: I don't think so.
(thwacking sound)
Louisa: Yup. It's there.
Me: Did you just spank yourself to prove a point?

Biebs

Me: Oh Justin...
Sam: How you've stolen my heart, and made me a pedophile.

if only we actually said these things

Me: (faux-addressing the boy running down the street while Susie and I are in the car) Do you need a ride?
Susie: Do you need a girlfriend?
Me: Yes, because you look like you are in excellent shape. And have a sense of punctuality.

too much to ask

"I just want someone to love me, and marry me. Is that too much to ask?" - Susie

not picky enough

"Boys don't like me...this one does...I'll over-compensate!" - Katie

Rappin' to Stay Relevant

"I can be your Rihanna.." - Brady

Oh! Now I Get It!

"There's a difference between flirting and flirting to get some." -Jeremy R.

"Dating was the theme of our stake conference too. Dating, marriage, babies, NOW!" -Jeremy R.

Well that's unfortunate

"He doesn't love me?! That's unfortunate- I kiss great!" - Katie

You Can Spot Them from a Mile Away

"You can always spot a person from Idaho. Some people say you can't, but you definitely can." -Rachel Y.
"Yeah, at stake dances in Arizona you could always spot the kids from Cottonwood." -Brennan
"In what way?" -Susie
"Well, in the way that you could tell there was some inbreeding going on." -Brennan

Yes, Satan?

The following ensued while discussing nicknames for each other:

"Susie.....Susifer. Like Lucifer!" -Katie
"Huh. Thanks..." -Susie aka Susifer

Sometimes the truth hurts

"Boys. All boys are attractive." -Betsy
"Um...well that's not true." -Susie
"Yeah, ok." -Betsy

But...

"Come, come, come." -Jeff
"Fine! I'll go, you little butt." -Susie
"You love his little butt." -Katie

Say What?!

"I hate that kid." - Susie (under her breath)
"What'd you say?" - Betsy
"Nothing." - Susie
"You just cursed Jeremy's name! I heard you!" - Betsy

by way of announcement

We find it fitting that every boy we talk about will be henceforth referenced within this blog as "Jeremy." Just so you don't think he's the only boy we talk about, adore, or hate on.

Curious Workmanship

"It never says anywhere in the scriptures that Nephi had a clue how to built a boat, right?" - Susie
"Nope- I don't think it would have mattered anyway. The Lord told him to built it after the manner of curious workmanship." - Betsy
"True." - Susie
.....
"I'm built after the manner of curious workmanship...." - Betsy

do you like...cheese?

"The first person who thought of melting cheese....is a genius." - Katie

compensation

Susie: I think its funny that Jeremy is your emotional prostitute.

Betsy: That is not true, Jeremy is NOT my emotional prostitute! ...I don't pay him anything. 

blatant liberalism

Sarah: Oh look, Utah's Republican party wants me!
Betsy: That's too bad....
(Susie starts laughing)
Betsy: What are you laughing at Susie?
Susie: You and your blatant liberalism.

Success

"My belly is full, my pants are tight. Success." - Susie

So tell me what you want, what you really really want

"I came to get some." -the first thing Jeff says as he walks into our apartment

wasn't sleeping

"And besides, I wasn't sleeping. I was laying my head on this pillow and closing my eyes." -Jeff

Just Your Normal Monday Night Conversation

"Crap- he really thinks I want to date him?"
"He probably thinks I want to date him. And I surely would never do that."

music stylings

I'm going to a Kesha concert. Clearly I have no taste in music.
                    ~~~Betsy

Don't Worry...

"Hey- do I have something on my face?" - Susie
"....Hotness." - Sam

She almost peed her pants

SO...Katie has this love of scaring people (namely roommates and companions), especially by standing really close to the bathroom door so she's waiting when they open it. Epic. Every time. Tonight's victim was Sarah. Done scared her good. This was the following conversation:

"Hey, I didn't say the f-word."-Sarah
"Good job. Way to be spiritual and shiz." -Katie

Yes, those are the returned missionaries.

Like a Baby

"I'm like a baby when I'm tired." - Susie
"Really? Do you cry?" - Louisa
"I want to." - Susie
"Do you rub your eyes?" - Louisa
"Sometimes. I really just want to nuzzle." - Susie
"I'm all for nuzzling." - Betsy
"Yes. More nuzzling, I say!" - Susie

A Sweet Goodnight

"Goodnight! Thanks for calling me fat!

Out of the Mouth of Babes

"It's hard to leave- you're all so attractive!" - Jeremy

love

"Jeremy, I love you. And not like Christ loved his disciples. I love you like I love cake. And that's a lot!"- Meredith

Starry-Eyed Love

As Katie is cracking Susie's back:
    "Is it okay if I just stay here and gaze into your eyes?...You are so attractive!!"- Susie

    "I just have a knotty back!"-Susie  (hahahahahaa!! Katie is really immature)

The Honest Truth

"I'd rather be doing something other than homework." - Betsy
"Well, what would you rather be doing?" - Susie
"Kissing." - Betsy

Today's Gems

"Did you feel his body?" - Sarah (yep, the Relief Society President) to Katie after her date

"Stop bosoming!"

"Be a nun!"
"Ok- but only if I can be a shimmying nun..."

Oh, Jamie

"Katie, you make me feel like Jamie Lee Curtis walking next to Courtney Cox!" - Sarah

A favorite

"Eff, sister!"

Dream date

"Who do you want to ask you out the most right now?" - Katie
"Umm...Christian Bale." - Susie

My cheesy lover

"If I had a lover made out of anything, it would be cheese." - Katie
"Really? Mine would be peppermint patties..." - Susie
"Mmm...Panda Express."  - Betsy

You won't find that missing ad on a milk carton

"I want my pheromones back!"

Introduction

Welcome to the result of 3 minutes of complete ridiculousness. We are pretty funny. And pretty...pretty too. Yeah, we're kind of hot. Enjoy!
- Susie

Please do not judge us solely on the contents of this blog. I have been told I am quite mature for my age...
- Katie

Let's be honest- this blog will make you wish you visited us more. For real.
-Betsy

(Please note that Sarah and Kalie were not here for the birth of this blog. They will, however, be forced to participate at a later date.)