to remain nameless

"I feel bad because (insert name here) is a really nice person, and he really just needs to meet someone who thinks he's as funny as he thinks he is."

You know it's bad when...

"Do you think he looks like that because of inbreeding or..." -Emily while watching Swamp People

"I have no fear of lingerie."-Melissa

Betsy: "...I am so cold.... Well... I guess I could put some pants on."

"I'm eating hot soup ARE YOU FOR REAL?!" - Melissa as Emily tries to tackle her while sitting at the kitchen table

what'chu really thinkin...

Susie: When you're short, no pants fit you!
Troy: Just don't wear pants. We keep talking about spontinudity in my classes...

Questionable....

"Betsy, are you coming into bed tonight?" -Emily

he must not know 'bout me

Susie: Guys, [name removed] is so sweet, and so kind, and trying so hard to get to know me, but doesn't he  know that I'm ruined for all men?

why not?

Betsy: I want to see this email you wrote him
Susie: It's nothing really.
Betsy: You mean you didn't say "love me, love me, saaaaaaaaaaay that you love me?"
Susie: I know, weird, right?

The dangers of jeans

"Yeah, you're gonna go sterile from those low-riders, Susie." -Trent

This is what happens when you don't pay attention

Susie, while studying, gets off the couch and goes to the kitchen. She returns with a bowl of cereal, starts studying again and then looks around in confusion:

"Oh crap, I got up to get a pen and got cereal instead."

It's how you say it.

(Mark and Jordan trying to convince Melissa to come country dancing with us).
Melissa: I don't like going out at night.
Mark: Melissa, I want to make you do things.
Jordan: ...say that less creepily.